84 Years

Last night we celebrated 84 years of life.  Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Through the Lens

Boy am I glad I picked up my camera today and decided to get back into photography. I have a senior session booked next week so I figured it wouldn't hurt to drag my sister around town and practice. So here's what we came up with. Enjoy.

I have a few special ones we took at the marina today. I plan on sharing those as soon as I get them edited. You all know how much I love my nautical theme.

Have I mentioned how hard it is hearing co-workers talk about all their new pictures of their kids. They are all sharing new 6 month pictures and 5-6 year old pics- doesn't matter the age. They get all excited when they show each other-like they should, and then I just sit there, listening and dying inside to show my picture. But no one will bother to ask, why would they? They have already seen every picture I have. It just hurts, a lot.

More prayers

This is going to be short and to the point. I had a whole other blog post for tonight but that can wait.

My cousin Kerry needs any and all prayers she can get. She is still in the hospital on bed rest with fairly high BP's that are manageable with BP meds. But there are still times where they get dangerously high and they are adding more meds to the cocktail. I am hoping this buys her a little bit more time.

Baby Josey is also measuring 7-10 days behind in growth so we all need to pray that she keeps growing in there.

Kerry's liver enzymes came back elevated today so they are suspecting possible HELLP syndrome lurking in the future, and baby Josey is NOT ready to be born. I hope and pray that she does not come down with HELLP and that she can make it to 24 weeks and hopefully longer.

Kerry just started a blog to pass time and keep everyone updated. If your interested, please go over there and leave her a comment, I am sure she could use a little hope right now.

www.journeytojosey.blogspot.com

Hang in there Kerry, you know I am here for you and REMEMBER.. you have a 13 ounce angel looking over you & Josey. Love you!

Nola.

Meet our mutt Nola.

Nola is the first big thing that happened in our relationship. I think we had been dating a year when we thought it would be a bright idea to go rescue a dog from the animal shelter. Yup, we were a young 20 years old and still lived with our parents. Both our parents had dogs of their own so they were REAL excited when we brought home this sweet and innocent brown dog.

We got her because we thought she was a boxer mix puppy. Chris grew up with a boxer and was so excited to have a little bit of boxer in our new dog. We have since then come to find out she has a little bit of everything. Lab, boxer, german shepard, pit bull.. you name it I bet she has it in her blood. I have a feeling her mother was quite permiscuous.

Blast from the past! Chris HAS hair!!!!

We got her name from our favorite college football team, The Florida State Seminoles. Although, we rarely call her Nola because she usually responds to: Noodle, Doofus, Doe Doe Brain, Numb Nuts, Goober, Nina Noo. Nice names huh? I can only hope we never come up with such bizzare nicknames for our child one day.

She really doesn't have a brain, my entire family is convinced she has a pea sized brain if anything. she is a sweet soul but can't figure out simple things that dogs usually do. FOR INSTANCE the morning that she thought she had to keep the empty peanut butter jar in her food bowl with her food at the same time.

She also known for her gift giving. I will put a million dollars on betting my dog will give you a present upon entering our home. May it be a sock, bra, paper clip, wood chip, shoe or even recipes she will always greet you with a present.

I got home from work this morning and she brought me Chris' huge flip flop. Thanks Nola.

So I have to say, 6 years later...

We love her to pieces, she may have bizarre habits and think that all 85lbs of her is the size of a lap dog but I wouldn't trade her in for anything. And if your wondering, Nolan and Nola's name have NOTHING in common other than the first...ohh... 4 letters. LOL. That was Chris' main concern when we were picking Nolan's name. He originally hated it because it sounds like our dog's name, but I didn't care, I feel in love with it for a whole different reason. But I really do think Nola misses Nolan because I catch her in his room ALL. the time, before she never really laid in there. Ironic? Probably but I don't care.

Prayer Request

Preeclampsia sucks!
My cousin, Kerry was admitted to the hospital at 22 weeks 2 days ago for high blood pressure. She said what made her call her doctor was thinking about our story. She was having some swelling in her ankles and heartburn previously in the week (like I did). As soon as her doctor heard what our family just experienced, he had her come in right away.

She has been going through a slew of tests and is on hospital bed rest for the time being. I think she has one little angel watching over them. She is in the best place with some of the best specialists (something I lacked) so I have high hopes for her and their baby girl.

We all know what a nasty disease Preeclampsia and it's nasty sister HELLP can be so please think of her. I know she has been through a lot in the past 2 days because it's scary as hell and it's emotionally draining. When my Mom told me about this I just wanted to cry for her because I know so well all those feelings.

We're praying for you Kerry!! Hang in there and know that being in the hospital is one of the best places for you right now, your being watched like a hawk and that is a GOOD thing.

Food for thought

A thought.. it's something that has been lurking in my head lately so why not try to type it out...

I AM a MOM. I always feel like I have to remind myself. I have come across so many bloggers that are part of these communities known as Mommy Blogs, where they talk about their experiences and such and such. I really like blogging too and have done the same but I don't fit in. I can't add my site to a Top Mommy blog because quite honestly, I don't write about how I am mothering a child. I have no advice to give, no product reviews to write about and no new pictures to show of little ones. Yet, I can share my battle with grief and tell you how it is to live day by day, hour by hour wishing this pain would go away, learning to live a new normal and try to keep your babies story alive- I'm good at that. One example of this is on thebump.com they have this section for "Real Moms. Real Stories"

Ironic that they add this to the Pregnancy Loss/Miscarriage board- Where's the knife?

 

You think they would ever consider my story, naw probably not. It would scare the living crap out of people- I don't want to do that. I admit, I have a scary story but the part that I gave birth to a 13 ounce miracle who made it 3 days makes it pretty real and makes me a MOM. Right?

  It hit the other night when I went to add my blog to a list and it asked what category my blog is in...

Parenting (life with kids)
Fashion/Beauty
Relationships
Infertility
Politics
ect ect

I DON'T KNOW!
NONE OF THEM!
I don't have a life with kids but yet I am a Mother? Where would I fit in? Parenting (life without kids)?

I feel like I am in a constant battle reminding myself that I am a Mom, a mother to a 13 ounce little boy. The only time I feel like his Mom is when people talk about him or ask about him. It made my night last night when one of the x-ray tech at work looked at his picture on my name badge and asked if he could look at my little boy.
OF COURSE you can, that's right.. he was MY little boy. I had a little son.
Maybe this is all coming to terms that I am just a different kind of Mom. Does that mean when I have a baby in my arms I become the real Mom? or a living Mom? I don't know.. this all probably sounds crazy but it's stuff I think about.

I guess I am just in an identity crisis. I hold no grudge against those in the desired club, many are my friends. But I just so badly want to feel part of them too. I just feel like the kid left out in recess, or the last kid to be picked on a team. Get it?

So in attempts to connect with other Moms and feel like part of the club that is socially acceptable I figured it wouldn't hurt to join this twitter thing. Maybe it will help. (forgive me, I am still learning how to use this darn thing)


I am ashamed to admit, I like Twitter. I PROMISED and swore up and down that I would never get it, but it has slowly grown on me. So since I am always up to follow new people I had to post this when I read it on TaterTwins blog this morning.

Check out the Yo Tweets Twaffic Exchange CARNIVAL-

1. Click on my twitter Icon above. Follow me!
2. Shout me a hello on twitter. @smashrt I follow!! #yotweeps
Then I'll know you followed and I'll reciprocate. SO EASY to do this way! Especially if you use tweetdeck.
3. Do YOU want more tweeps? Blog about it.


4. Also for more tweeps, click on the dude above.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

THANK YOU to every single one of you that donated to Nolan's Team for March of Dimes. It melted my heart every single time a new donation came through and I hope many more come though in the last 46 days of the fundraiser.
We raised over $600 giving us a grand total of $1,026 which is half way to our goal of $2000!!

So our winner of a $50 gift certificate to

sTuck in the Coop Etsy Store

is

ASPEN

How I kept track of how many entries you all had. If you had a star next to your name, you either FB or twitter or blogged the giveaway and I included it in your entry. Again, THANK YOU everyone!

Your probably wondering where 200 of the other entries are... right? We had a few donations come through that specified that they didn't need to be entered and that they just wanted to donate and let someone else win. Nice huh!?!

I have a feeling we will be having a few giveaways in the coming weeks.

Last Day!!!! Giveaway!!!

If you didn't know already... GO HERE

GIVEAWAY!!!!

It's the last day to donate and be included in the drawing for a $50 gift certificate to
sTuck in the Coop Etsy Store


We have raised so much in the past week and I am SO thankful to each and everyone of you that has donated money to Nolan's Team for the March of Dimes walk. It means so much to me, you have NO idea.