Date Shy

I love when the 8th of each month comes. It gives us a little day to celebrate Nolan and think about how old he would be.

But then the 11th comes just 3 short days after. Can I just take it off the calender? It would save a lot of bad memories that sneak up when I look at the date. Has it really been 7 months? We are past the 6 month goal, now what? Before we know it, it's going to be a year. As bad as I wanted time to fly, I am terrified of forgeting memories. They are already faded, so what will happen at a year, 5 years, 20 years. I don't want to forget anything. I just want to forget the raw stabbing feeling that I felt 7 months ago today.

I went to church yesterday in the FREEZING Florida weather and it was all about Jesus Baptism and it just seemed so sweet. I am so proud that Nolan was baptised before he went to Heaven. Now I can't wait until we can bring a baby into church for a Baptism. I have NO plans on another NICU Baptism.

Thanks for all the flower suggestions. I wanted to do white for winter, but I didn't like any of the white flowers at JoAnns. Then I found this yellow butterfly and that inspired me to do a yellow arrangement. Then I saw the pinwheel and I think it brings a little bit of warmth and sunshine to the chilly Florida temps. So I spent some time talking to Nolan yesterday, as long as the cold weather allowed me. I have no winter jacket so it was a short visit. I told him our hopes, wishes and prayers that we have been asking for. I am hoping that Nolan heard me.... PLEASE.

As far as the kitchen, your votes and Chris' changed mind left our kitchen... red. I still want to change it to blue for fun, so red it will stay, at least for now.