9.13.2009

My pregnancy is officially over today. Today is Nolan's due date, the day I should be in the hospital having Nolan. Even though it ended 3 months ago, in retrospect I have been thinking since then about how I would still be pregnant if my body never failed Nolan. So today will be a rough day, but it's also a day I have been wanting to get passed. But now that it is here, I have mixed feelings about it. Now I am thinking about how Nolan would be getting ready to come home from the NICU and we would finally have our baby at home. But obviously, that is not the case. I just hate this. I was 100% positive that I would write this sweet letter to Nolan today on the blog and have a whole lot to say. But I don't. Not with everything that is going on right now. Maybe I will try to do it while I am sitting up at UC today with Dad.

As for my Dad, he is stable but getting worse. They want to move the surgery to Tuesday because they need to get the CTA on Monday. I don't get the reason for not being able to get the CTA over the weekend, we do them at work ALL the time. This hospital is also a Level One trauma center with 9 ICU's so you would think they would have someone on call. So my goal for today is to try and figure out why they cant do it today. I mean I flew up here thinking this surgery was taking place Fri morning. But now they are trying to move it to Tuesday. It's very frustrating, but I know he is in the best care, especially at UC, so I will go with it.

We just called him this morning, he has a bad IV that now has a possible infection. They are trying to drain the fluid. His x-ray is showing a possible pneumonia bilaterally and he's coughing up some nasty junk. His blood pressure was going up last night and they had to increase his BP meds and put him on a new one. They are trying to keep his BP lower than normal to keep less stress on the aorta. He is in good spirits and he's a pretty freaking cute patient. I just wish our family wasn't going through this, so much has happened this summer and when you think it can't get any worse... it does.

I will post a new update when we get up to the hospital this morning and get the info from the doctor and nurse. Getting info from Dad is like talking to a person who had a few too many cocktails. His pain meds make him pretty loopy.

Thank you in advance for all the prayers you are sending.
Nolan, grant me strength to get through today, I know I needed a distraction this week, but sure wasn't talking about something like this.