The clothes we see at Carters are still some of the same ones we bought for you and have tucked away in your closet upstairs.
Every nautical nursery set or decoration strikes an urge to buy it for your room.
The trip we made to Babies R Us takes me back to a time me and your Dad would wander the aisles with our scanner guns wondering what the the best thing was to get you.
The red stroller Aunt Mary bought your little brother just today, just happens to be the SAME one we registered for you.
Dad called the new baby by the nickname we had picked out for you had your name been Christopher Joseph III and I cringed because it was weird to go back to the day when your name was different.
There are so many things in the past weekend that has struck a cord with me. I put my big girl panties on and bit the bullet to go look for stuff for your little brother. Even though it was hard and I was anxious, I had fun. It was exciting to think about when we get to use all the stuff, but it makes me sad at the same time because I never got to use it with you. I never dressed you in your baseball outfit or took you for a walk in your red stroller. But I know you and Charlie are working your butts off up there to make sure we get to being your little brother home. So I have FAITH that this is really going to happen, I mine as well start looking and be prepared.
I just miss you. And now that all this new stuff is happening, it makes me miss the things that we didn't get to experience with you. All the preparing in the world never would have prepared me for the loss of you. I guess that's why I don't care all that much for it. I know your Grandma, Val and Aunt Mary will have all that extra stuff covered when the time comes anyways.
Your doing an awesome job baby boy. Charlie was the only person who met you here on this Earth and has cradled you up there in Heaven, so I know your in good hands. He loved you more than I can even explain, he just thought you were awesome.
I love you Nolan, keep an eye on baby "you know the name"