Monday, March 28, 2011


Baby Brice was a fighter, a little guy that gave it his all. An almost 7lb miracle that went through more than some do in a lifetime. Baby Brice is a son of two amazing parents who proved that love is so deep the past 7 days. Two parents that went through more in the past 7 days than some do in a lifetime. But also two parents that had to do the hardest thing that a parent ever has to do, say good bye to their child forever.

Late last night Baby Brice went to be with is cousin Nolan in Heaven. The past 48 hours Brice was falling sicker and sicker. There was family meetings, moments of no hope but Baby Brice just kept fighting with all this strength. Despite how sick he was and knowing what was to come, yesterday he gave his parents the best day ever, he had family pictures by NILMDTS, got to be held by both Mommy and Daddy and remained ‘stable’ through out all this. He knew his Mommys touch because his heart rate went from 90’s to 120’s when he was being held. Trisha and Connel was able to give him his first sponge bath, wash his hair and take care of him the way they should be as parents. But last night after a 7 day fight, Baby Brice got too tired and it was time to let him rest eternally. He was just too sick, the NICU gave it their all these past 7 days, Brice was unfortunately on the same roller coaster as Nolan. Simply heartbreaking. photo6

I can’t even begin to tell you how we feel right now as a family. How in the world can two children in one family be faced with such heartbreak? Never ever in a million years would I think Chris’ little sister would be in my spot walking out of a hospital empty handed 2 years later. This isn’t suppose to strike twice in families. I can’t even begin to think how my in-laws feel right now watching their daughter walk the same path her older brother took. How is this?!

Chris and I sat in the middle of the baby’s room last night and just cried. The late night call brought back so many memories of that last night Nolan was here. All the feelings flooded back and made it feel like it was June 11th 2009 all over again, like it was just yesterday. My heart screams in pain that my very own sister in law is experiencing this hurt. I just don’t get it. I don’t. I know these next few days and weeks are the worst, the pain is raw and feels like a knife stabbing your heart over and over and over again. The only thing Chris and I can do is hold their hand as they enter this journey, because we ourselves are still trying to figure out this path of loss too.


To Connel and Trisha,

I love you guys. Brice was such a handsome little man. I can’t even begin to tell you how many compliments I got on my little nephew from my parents, coworkers, friends and strangers who read this blog. Brice has a story, it’s beautiful and sad all at the same time and I am honored I was able to share a little piece of him on my blog. I am so proud of you two as parents, your simply amazing. I wish we were with you guys 2500 miles away to give you two the biggest hug and let you cry on our shoulders because we know there are just no words to describe the pain that your experiencing. I know with all my heart and soul that Charlie is up there taking care of Brice and Nolan. Those two have the best respiratory therapist 2 babies could ever ask for, I know he is in good hands until the day we can hold them again.

I love you two.

Your sister.


Friday, March 25, 2011

My Boys

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Baby Brice needs some big prayers

Brice has been warmed as of yesterday afternoon and usually babies start to show some improvement after a 72 hour cooling.

We obviously know the NICU is a roller coaster and one set back can bring you 2 steps forward and that's what we are hoping for.

Although, Brice's ABGs are worsening since yesterday and he is now on a high frequency vent, breathing over the normal amount to compensate for his levels.

His blood pressures are unstable and is on some high doses of dopamine. Hoping and praying this is just a common effect post cooling and he recovers quickly.

We are waiting on results of his cardiac echo and pray that is normal because little Brice doesn't need any other obstacles against him.

Please pray this is one hill on the roll coaster and he will start heading in the right direction. Pray for strength for Connel and Trisha, as they are on a road of unknown and it's scary. I know.

Bless Brice and his parents, please keep all 3 of them in your thoughts. Brice sure is one "big fighter"

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Brice Update

Thank you for all the prayers, messages and emails. You are all a blessing and I know both Trisha and Connel fully appreciate any thoughts and prayers sent their way.

Brice is still being cooled and I belive the warm up starts tomorrow. From there he will have a slew of diagnostic tests and it will set the path and goals for baby Brice. We are hoping and praying that the 72 hour cooling phase has reversed some damage or lessed the damage from the oxygen deprivation from the cord being compressed.He was extubated yesterday for a few hours but was reintubated shortly after to protect his airway due to an absent gag reflex. The staff was continuously suctioning him and they felt this was the best to protect him (and his RT aunt agrees). The nurses and Drs said he was heading in the right direction as of yesterday, showing some movement yet unknown if it is voluntary or reflexive but either way, he was moving. He is still on his EEG for seizure activity and had a few today. Please pray these stop.

Brice is a perfect little baby, he looks so perfect yet is so sick. Bless his little heart, I just want to fly out to Cali, pick him up and squeeze the crap out of him and give Trisha & Connel a huge hug. Trisha is on her way now to see Brice for the 2nd time in 2 days. He only saw him for 2 minutes before they took him to the University Hospital.

Again, thank you for all your prayers and I will try my best to keep you all updated even if its on my Ruby Family Facebook (linky on the right side of blog)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Baptism Bliss

The baptism was perfect. No words. Just simply perfect, what I wanted for so long and I felt so accomplished my the little miracle we held today. After the baptism, we went out to visit his Uncle and Big Brother. I don't have much to say, other than it felt so good to be up front the parish and give our child to God and have him grow in faith.
Simply perfect.

Huge Prayers Needed

Last night, I became an Aunt to a beautiful little boy named Brice. I am so excited for my sister in law and her husband.

But Baby Brice needs some big prayers. He is currently being taken to a NICU 100 miles away from the hospital he was born at. Since his cord prolapsed after her water broke at home and he was breech, oxygen can be deprived from his brain and since he had low APGARs and was showing seizure activity, he was intubated and they are starting the 72 hour cooling protocol to help his brain and cause no more further damaged if any. (Holy run-on sentence)

Please please please keep Trisha, Connel and Baby Brice in your prayers. They are all the way out in California and Connel is suppose to deploy in the next 2 weeks. They need all the prayers they can get. I hope and pray everything is okay and I know he is in the best care considering he is going to a University NICU. I will keep you all updated.

I just want to give my sister in law the biggest hug, I remember that helpless feeling and nothing in the world can make you feel better but having your baby be okay.
CC praying this morning

Saturday, March 19, 2011

A day late

I'm here. I'm swimming in a pool of mortgage stuff, wedding photos to edit and scrubs. This past week has been the busiest week I've had in a long time. It felt so good to clock out this morning knowing I have nothing to do this entire weekend but spend time with my sisters and get little man baptized.
Yup, it's finally time to have that moment I hVe been craving since the first mass I attended after we lost Nolan. I had tears falling down my face when I watched another baby be baptized and even though Nolan was baptized, it wasn't the way I wanted. I wanted to be that Mom holding my new baby all in white.
Almost 2 years later and were here. It's a big day for us. He's wearing his Uncle Charlies baptism outfit and it's on Sunday, what would have been my Grandpas 85th birthday. Were having the baptism during mass because since that one day, I told myself I would one day be THAT mom.
I'm here, and I am so darn excited.

On top of all this happening....
We are still in the works of getting our new house. It's funny how things work out. They day we buried Nolan, I said I want one of THOSE houses. I was talking about the houses that happen to back up to the church/memorial garden. I wanted to be able to know that my little one is just a kiss away, always close.
The homes we looked at were always out of our price range, wrong side of the neighborhood, a short sale that took FOREVER... And thank god it did because we now have found ourselves buying the perfect home. It overlooks the church and garden. Every night I can blow a kiss goodnight. It will be our forever home, where CC grows up. Where our family will grow, where out family technically started. I am just so darn happy and excited.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Holy 3 months!

I think the 4th trimester is finally over. The days of little sleep, few showers and maternity leave are a thing of the past. This past Saturday, our little man turned 3 months. Really! 3 freaking months.


I’m tip toeing back from his room since checking on him because… yup, he is sleeping in his crib! We made the move almost 2 weeks ago and he has been sleeping through the night ever since. I have to give the SwaddleMe (cough cough… strait jacket) major props for making this transition possible. He sleeps from about 10pm-7am and will take another nap around 9am.


So here is a little summary on the little guy…

He is a baby of many names. More names than our dog…

CC, Chuck, Christopher, Charlie Choo, Trey, Little Man, Stinky, Boogs… I can keep going. I have a feeling he is going to grow up and have no clue what his real name is considering we still cant seem to settle on ‘one’ real name to call him.


He’s wearing size 1 diapers, drinking soy formula (yup I am a breast feeding drop-out) and sporting 0-3 month clothing.

His thighs have gained at least 3 more rolls and he has fat little wrists, he is my chunky boy and it’s hard to believe that 3 months ago he weighed 5lbs. Really? His last appointment he weighed 11.14lbs but that was over 3.5 weeks ago.

My favorite time of the day is when we starts moaning and groaning on the monitor and when I go to get him, he gives me the biggest smile then he wraps his arms around you when you pick him up. Pure love. I am still trying to figure out where he adopted this “morning person” thing because it definitely didn’t come from me or his father.


We are starting to pick up on his little personality, it’s pretty fun to recognize his little things. He smiles more, laughs at us, grabs for things and I’m pretty convinced he recognizes us. Time is flying and even though I didn’t want him to grow so fast, every little new thing he does makes me even more excited for what is to come next.

photo(63) photo(64)

Happy 3 months little man!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

2011 Piper 5K

I did it! I ran across the finish line! I did the entire 5K with 2 good friends and we cheered each other through the entire thing. Ok, more like Kim kept Erin & I from walking the entire thing and coached us to the finish, THANK GOD for her! We ran/walked in 2 minute intervals and finished by running across the finish line, and the best part was I still had a pulse. 10 minutes after… Chris, CC & my Mom crossed over the finish line and they were in the WALKING group. HA! photo(56)


Last year I remember saying to Chris that maybe “next year” we would have a stroller to push at the 5K. And here we were, CC’s first 5K! It feels so good to be happy again and finally be where I have wanted to be since June 2009. It also felt so good to have Nolan’s admitting nurse Mindy and Heather be able to hold his little brother before the race, simply bittersweet.

photo(59) I am just so in awe of Piper’s Mom, Heather. I know I hated when people told me how strong I was, but you guys have no idea… this girl is amazing. I am blessed to have her in my life, I just wish it wasn’t the circumstances we are under. The 2011 Piper 5K drew in over $43,000 for the Healthpark Children’s Hospital NICU. Piper’s story is blessing tiny babies in the very NICU Nolan lived in, and that right there warms my heart. So proud of you Heather and I know Piper is smiling from Heaven and just so proud of her Mommy. $43,000!!!! Amazing. Anchor Sister’s forever.

photo(60)    We did it!

Heather put together a great race and we had a beautiful day! Now on to 2012… you know we will be there!

Friday, March 4, 2011

5k Eve

It's the eve before the Piper 5K, the one I said I would totally train for and run the entire thing....ohhhh when I was 7 months pregnant. My parents and teachers always said to dream big, and so I did. But let's get realistic here...

Tomorrow morning I will make a big attempt to run the 5k. Granted this week I have not ran on inch to save my life. I blame that on the 3 nights in a row, back to night shift 6pm-6am, legs feel like Jello by time I walk in the front door. And the one morning I was going to run when I got off, I left with the pager and had to drive it all the way back to work. Then stopped at McDonalds for a cinnimelt, come on.....that idea to run was so 5 minutes ago. You would have done it too. So by time I got home, I was done, my bat cave of a room and my pillow top bed was calling my name.

Maybe I should just walk with Chris and my Mom in the stroller group. Or maybe they will just catch up with my slow ass. I do this 5K for a reason, a 3 year old angel and either I walk or run, who cares. In the end we all cross over the same finish line. It's the meaning behind the run that matters to me.

Now that I think of it, I get to eat pasta tonight for energy.... Hell yes!!
Wish me luck tomorrow, I'm off to build a pimp ass play list for my "5K stroll"