Sunday, January 16, 2011

Justifying change

Kinda feel like my life is changing, priorities have shifted and I'm worried about friendships drifting. I'm happy it's changing in one aspect, been waiting for THAT change for a long time. But with that change, it seems like life gets in the way of current relationships and for some reason I am really bumming about it. I try to tell myself that it's just temporary but it's really not.

2 days after coming home from the hospital with CC, I learned that my position at work had to be filled since I had been on leave so long and needed to fill the needs of the business. I think this is where a lot of my feelings come from. Now, when returning from maternity leave I am starting at a new hospital, with new co-workers, new experiences, new things to learn. Over all just a new start, I consider it a blessing in a sense. BUT, I am really really going to miss the kind of work I did, the people I worked with and Drs I worked under, AND all my friends I worked with. I was looking forward to returning to my hospital and having the welcome back most get coming off maternity leave.

But the thing is, since that happened, I stopped hearing from friends.
I'm going with the mindset that after the past 2 years, and with our new arrival.... It's just time for a fresh start. New friends, new lifestyle, hopefully new home soon and new opportunities at work. I just have to accept the change... Most things all happen for a reason.

I'm just sick of trying to justify why changes happen, I'm always trying to find the good in the situation, when sometimes I just want to scream..."it's not fair" or what the heck did I do to deserve this?

Although, I have CC and that's all that really matters. And because of him and a new position, a whole group of new friends have come into my life and I am so excited about these new connections.

And now that I have that off my chest, I can go back go my normal blogging and post more of this handsome little man.

16 comments:

Lisa said...

I'm sorry they had to fill your spot at work. Hopefully if another one opens up, you can transfer back.

After our daughter was born, we, too, realized that friends were dropping like flies left and right. I just chalked it up to the fact that I had to say no one too many times to their invitations to go out late at night, drink heavily, and be incoherent the following morning. You just can't do that with a baby. But the way I see it, the friends I still have are the only REAL friends I had to begin with. Someone who is truly your friend wouldn't just drop out of your life. It isn't you. Other people's priorities change and if they don't want to be friends with an amazing family like yours, then they don't see what they're giving up. *CHEERS* to better friends who have yet to be met!

Elizabeth said...

I'm sending you good thoughts! I'm sorry to hear that you were transferred, that must have been pretty disappointing, no matter what positive spin you put on it. and good for you for trying to be positive, I would have just complained my head off. I hope that things continue to go well at your new hospital.

The Anglin Family said...

Sending prayers up for you!
I hope your new job is way better than your old one and you have fabulous new co workers and your transition back to work is an easy one.

Maribeth said...

You will find over time, that this will happen again and again. If you are really lucky, you will meet a friend or two that you'll have life long. I found that these were not people I worked with, rather, people I found in the world. People I worked with were acquaintances, chums. But not a real close friend.
It took me until I was in my 50's to realize the difference.

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your spot was filled, but I definitely like your mindset that things happen for a reason and you now have new people to get to know and hopefully love just as much as the people you used to work with.

When I left my firm for another in 2005, I was really bummed about it, but it turned out to be one of the best moves I've ever made! I've forged amazing relationships that I will have for forever.

Good luck to you and I'm glad to hear that everything is going well!

Lauren said...

i think these are all normal feelings that your having, but I'm sorry you are dealing with the changes. Miss you!

Lauren said...

i think these are all normal feelings that your having, but I'm sorry you are dealing with the changes. Miss you!

Pam McBride said...

We will welcome you into our GCMC Family with open arms! 5 years after school and we're finally gonna be working together! <3

erin. said...

I wish you the best with your new position. I am sorry to hear that these things happened though. Just through the virtual world I can see how blessed someone would be to have you & your family in their lives. God bless all of you! ! Sending *HUGS* from Long Island! :)

Caroline said...

Sorry for all the changes , keeping you in my prayers.

Mitzi G. said...

Change is good & I think that we all try to remember that BUT it is always hard to swallow at first so just hang in there & everything will be A-OK.

cmatsukes said...

Well you know what you have stepped into another part of being an adult, a parent so that stuff you did before changes, you will make new friends that will be in the same zone as them. Not to say your old friends should not be there for you it is just harder for them to understand the responsiblities you have now and that your association with them has to change too because of your new family. Hang in there with the job switch you will be too busy to notice.

Pam said...

Change is something that happens in life but no one ever said it would be easy. It sucks most of the time. Even when it is positive changes. Its the way God provides for us. We sometimes don't understand it but eventually we realize that it is for the best. People we think are friends come and go in life its part of what makes us who we are. You are so blessed with so many people and it will get easier. Hang in there and enjoy the ride of your life. Being a wife and mommy is one of the most amazing rides ever!!!

Future Mama said...

Good luck with your new position!!

Much love,
Future Mama
http://expectingablessing.blogspot.com/

Jennilynn said...

The same thing happened to me while I was on leave. The worst part was I heard it through the grapevine, not from my boss. But it ended up working out for the better. Its been a year and a half since I went back, and sometimes I still feel a little resentful when things happen- but overall I am a much happier and well rounded person than I was. Things happen for a reason! Good luck!

Jill said...

You will do great Ashley! I know it and you will form everlasing and lifetime friendships there and have more new memories as well. I am sorry that they did that to you, I dont think that was right at all.

But sometimes change is a good thing! xoxo Doing fab mama! ps, we need another playdate from afar soon! Ill make my way up there next time!!