2012 Resolutions. A girl can pretend

It's that time of year again where we all make resolutions that 99% of us will fail. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, it's just the honest truth that I will probably set out to lose another 20lbs by exercising every morning. Well that will last all of 2 weeks- promised. Although this year I have convinced myself that I will lose another 15-20lbs by our Spring Break Cruise. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

So New Years Resolution #1

May it be the most CLICHE one out there, but dammit I want to fit into my 2008 clothes. You know, before back to back pregnancies having ravack (can't figure out how to spell this damn word) on my body. I would just LOVE to take all 47 pairs of my Spanx and burn them in a bomb fire as the smell of over worn spandex fills the air. How free-ing would that be?! Spanx have become such a staple in my wardrobe I have no idea how I would be without them. Sad I know. But this girl loves her shape wear. But to go without it and still feel good- FRREEEDOOOM!

 

So maybe I should make a twist on this most loved resolution. Instead of setting out to lose weight like every other overweight American out there on Jan 1st. I want to make it a resolution of mine to accept my body as is. If that means 175lbs or 155lbs, I need to learn to learn to love my body. It gave me 2 beautiful boys, my stretch marks shows my battle wounds and dammit if I have to wear spanx for the rest of my life, then so be it. I mean, how nice would it be if I didn't feel like I have to look at myself in the mirror and suck in every time I walk by? Who am I trying to over impress anyways? As long as I am not wearing hoochie terry cloth shorts with Princess displayed across my arse and a tube top 5 inches too short with no bra... then I'm cool, right?

 

Ok, so eat healthy, attempt to get active, try to lose some weight and accept that I will never be the girl with the purple and gold pom poms ever again. Embrace the chunk!

 

Ok, on to resolution #2.

ORGANIZATION. Ok Chris, Mom and Dad- take me seriously here:

We all know my brain does NOT do organization. I'm not talking about my desk being orderly or my closet being color coded. I am talking things like in my head. I swear it's like a Barnum & Baily circus up in there. Things I am talking about is when I schedule appointments for, where I put important documents. Did I ever mention that I lost our marriage license? Yea yea, we found it. But the fact that it is issued from Bermuda doesn't make it very easy to just go get another one. Anyways, back to things I need to organize in my life. Things such as paying bills on time, putting gas in my car before "zero miles", remembering diapers and wipes before we leave the house. I know, I sound scary.

(This is my closet on a good day, imagine every other day. It's a good representation of my brain)

 

I know this is far fetched, but I can try, right? And maybe just maaaaaybe, if I can be half as organized as I was before- maybe my house will show it too? I can see it now, shoes lined up outside, toys put away in the toy chest, pillows all lined up on the couch, throws folded, dishwasher empty, mailed sorted, and dinner cooking. Ok, I'm dreaming here.

 

But I should make it a resolution to cook more. I need to learn new recipes because I have a 27lb one year old and a 6'6" husband that I am pretty sure can not live off crock pot pot roast and sloppy joes for the rest of their life. I need to learn some new casseroles, things that all don't come out of box type things.

 

So there it is. Ashley's 2012 resolutions.

1. Get in shape and if not accept.
2. ORGANIZATION (still laughing)
3. Learn to cook

I'll report back next year and see what I actually accomplished. HA!