Saturday, December 10, 2011

Birthday candles

I remember those nights I laid in my bed with dreams of reaching milestones that were tugging on my heart so deeply at the time. The tears ran down my cheeks as I asked God why I wasn't reading a bed time story to my baby or why I wasn't planning a birthday party and even wished I was picking up a house of clutter if it meant a choatic toddler was dancing around.

 I was sitting there tonight kissing those chubby rosey cheeks that have been flushed with sugar from a 7 layer rainbow birthday cake and reading "If you give a Pig a Party" and this calm wave of peace and thankfulness just brushed my shoulder. For a split second I felt like I was in my dreams, ones that 2 years ago felt like something that was so unreachable.

The pain was so raw, so deep and that very pain has made me the person today that takes small & simple moments so perfect in my heart. I hugged him tight after I shut the book and that little sucker patted my back- like he knew the whole time I was reading that story that he knew my thoughts. Or maybe he just liked the book, I mean it is a book about CC pig that has a party and well that's what we had just wrapped up today.

This week has been such a milestone. We woke up on the 5th and sang Happy Birthday to one awesome little 1 year old. We threw a birthday party (more to come on that) which just happened to be on the 2 year anniversary since my Dad's aortic valve replacement and he's still ticking.

So people. 1 year. It feels like just yesterday we brought him home. But here we are 1 year later making Mickey Mouse funfetti pancakes for breakfast and singing Happy Birthday to one special little boy. Lucky little kid.

The weather was perfect so we took a stroll at the park in his sweet new ride (which I apparently didn't get a picture of) But it's a wagon, one with an umbrella and cooler and seat belts. Oh man, did he look like a king sitting in that beast, he loved it!
Ahhhh how did he grow this fast?!

We stopped at the perfect spot for a mini un-photo shoot (2 minutes of making myself look like a fool trying to get him to sit semi still & look at camera) of the impossible to shoot baby. Props to photographers that shoot one year olds. It's NOT easy. The kid is in the lens fact before I have time to focus.. damn you child. Did I mention this kid crawls at lighting speed? Not a walker yet, but convinced it will happen any day.

We ended the night at our favorite little family owned Italian resturant. Just the 3 of us. Chris and I toasted to "One Year and to 17 more" this is while CC was throwing pieces chicken parm on the floor and laughing at himself. 

Happy Birthday little boy. Since one year and for the next 18- I will start your birthday with a candle and end with one. Why? Because it's my kick ass idea and a new tradition. I also will promise funfetti pancakes every year and if you don't want them- I'm making them anyways- because I WANT THEM. GOD THEY WERE AMAZING.

Happy Birthday CC!!


erin. said...

Happy 1st Birthday CC! What a year it has been & what a blessing you are to your whole family!!

Mitzi G. said...

Happy 1st birthday little cutie!!

Jill said...

My gosh, beautifully written Ashley. This made me cry. So beautiful. And what a big boy he is. I am so very happy for all of you. HAPPY Birthday CC!

Heather @ A Little Hope in My Pocket said...

Happy Birthday, CC!

And Ashley - beautiful post. It gives me hope that someday I will get to experience celebrating and earthly child as well.

Diana @Hormonal Imbalances said...

What a year. I am so happy for you guys, and CC is adorable. Like, not the kind where you're like, "Yeah, your kid is cute ::side eye the ugly kid::" but really, super cute. :p

Abigail said...

Awe I hope he enjoyed his special day!!! I love the idea of funfetti pancakes!!!