We couldn’t have asked for a better day for Nolan’s Birthday. There were so many smiles and laughter and that’s what I wanted yesterday to be about.
Chris and I did go to Nolan’s NICU and brought all the nurses, RT’s and Dr’s cupcakes to say Thank You and remind them how much they meant to us for those 3 days. It was our first time going back tot he NICU since the last night we spent there after Nolan passed and we spent hours in the family room right outside the NICU. Heather, our NICU grief counselor and NICU nurse met us at the hospital and went with us. She is such a blessing, just having her made the morning that much easier.
We stepped into the NICU and Chris and I both looked at each other and he even mentioned how he feels like we should go turn the corner and wash our hands and go to Nolan's isolate. Good and sad memories flooded back, but hearing the nurses, especially Nolan’s admitting nurse and RT talk about him just made my day. I look forward to the day that I work there and I can share that same thing with returning families one day.
I wish I took pictures of the cupcakes because they looked SO stinking good.
We then headed back to the house were all our close friends and family met up for dinner, cake and a visit to Nolan to sing Happy Birthday and release balloons. I’ll never fully digest why we spend a 2 year olds birthday in a memorial garden singing Happy Birthday, but it’s the least we can do. Some may find it “morbid” but when your in our spot, it’s normal to us, all we really have known the past 2 years.
We wrote notes on the balloons we released and sent them off to Heaven after singing Happy Birthday.
I have put off planning this day, not sure because I was angry about having to find an alternative to a normal birthday party or I was frustrated with finding something to keep tradition of being out on the water every year for his birthday that I declared last year. Then at the last minute, I came across the Fort Myers Princess sunset cruise and it screamed perfect.
So we all headed out for a night out on the water, see some sunset and dance our night away with our friends and family. I couldn’t have planned this night to be any more perfect. For what Nolan’s birthday is, with out, we had SO MUCH FUN celebrating his little life. We laughed, we danced, we drank, we sang and we even all did the limbo. This year, we made a new tradition, a birthday sunset cruise. Thank you to all our family and friends who chose to take the time out of their busy lives to help remind Chris and I that we have a little 2 year old. He may not be with us here but he sure does fill our heart with love. We miss him with our entire being and he has made me a better Mom because I savor every single second and appreciate what life is really all about. Living, loving and freaking celebrating.
Happy Birthday Nolan. I hope we did you proud.