Friday, October 15, 2010

My lights

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Today is a day that all us mothers in the community of baby loss come together and remember our angels together. It's when all us mothers wished we we're lighting birthday candles instead of candles in memory, but it’s a night we can all remember together.

So tonight, at 7pm I lit my 2 candles for Nolan and Kalli and all other babies that left too soon. I want to name them all but I am in fear of missing some.

Amy and I have had such a strong and special bond from day 1. We we're each other's backbones through some months that we had no one else that understood. Last year, Amy lit candles for Nolan & Kalli since I was at work and sent me the picture.

Oct. 15th 2009

I should be lighting candles on my Nolan's birthday cake next June 8th. But instead we are lighting candles on Oct. 15th for infant loss remembrance day.
But I didn't even get to light that, I am at work and at 7pm I was going to a trauma. So my dear friend Amy lit one for our babies and sent it to me. It made my night.

I love you Nolan and I will NEVER ever go a day and not think about you. I still can't believe you are not here in my arms right now. I guess I am just in shock that this is our new life. I never in a million years thought we would be faced with losing a baby, I really didn't.

So to all the Mom's that I have met since June that are feeling the same thing, I am thinking about you girls today and all your sweet angels in Heaven.

This year, my parents came over and we did the same. It's a tradition that Amy and I will share forever on October 15th. And nothing was sweeter than when I called her tonight at 7, I could hear sweet Kooper coo-ing in the background.

I love you Amy, I love all my new friends in this community. I wish we never had a reason to all come together but I am glad we all found each other. I'm remembering all your sweet angels tonight and hope that the next few years brings us all some new found happiness.


Debby@Just Breathe said...

I have my candle burning. Keeping you in my prayers. ((HUGS))

ryansmom said...

I love Nolan's picture frame. Hugs

Holly said...

♥ Remembering

CaSondra Shim said...

I just started reading your blog as I am looking for hope after loosing our first baby to an ecptopic pregnancy in July. Congrats on your pregancy and thank you for giving us TTC mom's hope.