Wednesday, July 13, 2011

"Only the good die young"

I wasn't going to write a post. I really wasn't. I DO have a lot to say but
A. Couldn't collect my thoughts
B. Didn't want to sound sappy.

But here I am, 12:40am in the morning, and reminiscing about your life that I SO took for granted while you were here. I was in the middle of writing a post on your FB when I realized what song was on iTunes.

"Only the Good Die Young"

Seriously Charlie?! I NEVER listen to that song. SURE, I have 3,000+ songs on my itunes due to our sister Maggie but that is the ONE song that randomly pops up?! Seriously Charlie?! You were NOT suppose to leave us this early. You just weren't.
OK here it is.

I miss you. I know I pretended like I was better than you in RT land but in all reality I look up to you as a therapist. You are the therapist I strive to be now. One that is remembered not only hours and days after you step foot in their room, but months after. I now take my time with my patients and talk to them more, because YOU taught me that. I know I may have had all the strait A tests from class and all the insides on how to pass Sindee's class but you didn't need that because you had those brains from day 1 and had the compassion from the beginning. You had it all Charlie, you could charm a snail out of their shell at the North Pole. You just had it.

I love you. I miss your charisma and your whit. You seriously made me laugh ALL THE TIME. I can only imagine how you are taking care of Nolan & Brice and the conversations your having with Grandpa. Is your notebook in Heaven full yet?

For what tonight was, it turned out perfect. Your close friends came and celebrated your life with us by visiting you and saying a prayer and releasing balloons. We went and dedicated a plaque work had hung in your memory too and then went on to MacDaddy's for drinks.

Hung right outside the ICU and ABG room

Hard to think just a year ago I was driving to work like any other normal night. It was only a matter of minutes that our world changed, it was no way it as you in that accident. I seriously think about it EVERY night I clock in on that very clock you never made it to that night. I regret never working with you, we would have had so much fun. I was your big sister, no one will ever take that from you or me. But as of tonight, every time I run an ABG, I will be reminded you're watching over me.

Your sisters miss you so much down here, all 3 of us, I wish I could put into words how we feel but it's impossible. All I can ask for is to take care of my Nolan, watch over Brice and keep Grandpa in line with his Fox News. Nothing grand is happening down here other than our Heaven kissed CC taking after you... NO lie.
Blue Eyes
Blonde Hair
and Charming in every way.

I miss you Charlie. I find it hilarious that a year later girls are still fighting after your last attention. And you better know that I would be busting your chops!

AND. as I finish, our favorite song is on. INSANE.
Ok ok... and now Bob Marley.. seriously Charlie. I can't make this shit up!
Miss you more now than ever before, your nephew reminds me of you every waking day and I love it!


Sara @ Struggling Happiness said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sara @ Struggling Happiness said...

Absolutely beatitful.

Dana said...

Wow, a year. I remember reading about the accident like it was yesterday and how shocked and sad I was for all of you.

I love that CC is taking after Charlie. It gives me chills.

The Brennan Family said...

Such a beautiful post.

Pam McBride said...

Charlie is so loved and missed. I'm sorry we couldn't make it to the memorial service, I'm sure it was beautiful. I wish I could read his plaque. Xoxo

Holly said...