Burn those inches. I'm going to admit I have taken to the extreme in attempting to lose weight this past week in wedding preparation. Okay not weight, but inches.
ZOMG, I can not believe I am going to blog this. Seriously.
Well lets just get it out there by saying Val's wedding was my goal to have all my weight lost. I lost 23lbs in about 90 days, with the help of a no carb diet. But as the wedding approached, I was to the point that maybe a few more inches wouldn't hurt. Which is why I broke down and purchased the....
Body Wrap GROUPON.
Yup, it was $49 and a guarantee of 6-20 inches lost. SOLD. I hit that purchase button so fast I'm surprised I didn't re-crack my iphone. Oh wait- my iphone was still shattered- I'm sure my purchase didn't help.
So I called Slender Life and made my trusty appointment for a few days pre-wedding. I made a few jokes about this new endevour to the girls at work, especially after I learned they make you dance after being wrapped. Oh good lord.
Well I am here to blog to say it was quite possibly the most RIDICULOUS and humiliating thing I have EVER EVER done. I can't believe I passed up having lunch with family to do this joke.
I find the location which is conveniently located in the old semi ghetto area of our town, I pull up and think to myself... God I better freaking lose 20 inches for dis shiiiit.
I walk in the doors and to my left is a living room, just like any normal living room in any given house. A TV from 1995, a few exercise bands and balls and a large women wrapped in ace bandages with a red super hero cape dancing to Richard Simmons or something of the like.
Again, WTF did I sign up for?
But I couldn't pull myself away with the 20 inch loss dangling over my head. They have me sign some papers, ask me what areas I would like them to concentrate on. How about my whole damn body- that's what I am here for.
They took me back to a little room where I dressed down to my skivvies while the wrap technician (is that what they would be called) transformed me into a mummy in all of 5 minutes. Then she broke out the plastic bags on my feet rubber banded to my ankles and stylish red crocs were slid on like Cinderellas glass slipper. OH and for some reason, I didn't get the big red cape- I was given a bath robe. But dammit, the red cape would have made this story 100 times better.
And then I had directions. Yes strict instructions to go join the party in the "living room" and the more exercise I did, the more inches I would lose. Alright- I got this.
So here I am, hysterically laughing taking discreet pictures of myself and sending them to Chris swearing to him that this BETTER work for something and in return I get a text back that he was going to pee his pants laughing. Yes, I am sure this is just how he pictured his wife getting skinny...oh so sexy.
So with out further ado, here I am bring sexy back in all it's glory.
45 minutes of Richard Simmons Let's Get Physical dancing I was able to shed the wraps for a total loss of 8 inches. Or something like that.
Will I ever do it again... HELL NO! But come on, admit it- I'm pretty damn sexy in this get up- huh?