My heart feels ready

I'm starting to feel ready.


Ready to conquer fears and pursue my dreams.


I know it's going to be a process and take a lot of work, but I know I can do it.

My mom always said "Don't tell Ashley she can't do anything because she will prove you wrong"



Granted, no one is telling me I can't do this- it's my broken heart that had held me back.

It's been 2.5 years and my heart is telling me to go forth. This won't be an overnight change, that's for sure but I am ready to put 100% into my dreams. Dreams that got put on hold the night Chris and I watched our Nolan code in front of our very eyes.



I'm ready to start the process of becoming a NICU RT. I've wanted this long before Nolan ever happened, and it was suppose to happen. It's actually what I went into Respiratory for, I have a lot of learning and preparation to do aside from the emotional perspective.

It took me 2 years to even step foot back into the NICU after that night, but when I did- it felt good. A bittersweet feeling I guess you could say.



So in the meantime, I am currently working on a new project involving the NICU and I know it's something I have a calling for and it's something I can do in Nolan's memory. It's also the first of may steps to prepare me to accomplish my dreams. I plan on sharing this all with you when it becomes official, hopefully very soon.



I'm putting myself on a 2 year plan. I have a lot of re-learning to do so I am as close to ready as possible. Working in the world of adults for 5.5 years leaves you pretty rusty on things in teeny tiny land. I'm putting my mind to this. I need this. I can do this.



This is what Nolan would want for me, he gave me a perspective that only a handful have and I want to use that to help others.

Ok, so there it is, no going back- it's blogged. Oh and I can't wait to share this new project so stay tuned!!