Being a mom to me right now is all about sharing Nolan's story and fixing his grave site. So tomorrow I have big plans for his spot. New flowers for fall, maybe a new picture and a night light! Chris isn't too fond of the solar light idea, but its a small one and it will be painted in Nolan's color. I got the idea from Amy (Kalli's Mom). My baby shouldn't be left in the dark every night, should he? Maybe he is scared of the dark, I dunno..but if he is.. I am here to fix it. So I am switching up the pinwheel with the new nightlight. Then I can go visit him to "tuck him in" when the light comes on at night. That's what Amy does every single night, she is such a good Mommy.
So if everything went the way it should have, Nolan would have been home by now. I would be fixing bottles, getting no sleep and holding a baby in my arms. But instead, I am going out to by new flowers, make a nightlight and visit my baby who lives in a Memorial Garden. Not my idea of being a Mom, but it's all I know. Hopefully one day we get to bring a baby home, to his/her nursery and get to be Mom that everyone else gets to be. It's all I want other than having Nolan here with us.
5 comments:
Very sweet idea! You are a wonderful mommy.
{{Hugs from a random internet follower via the bump}}
Yes, you are a wonderful mommy. I'm sorry Nolan isn't home with you, in your arms.
You are a wonderful mommy and that is a great idea!! Thinking of you and I know that one day you'll have a beautiful baby to bring home!
That's a great idea! You are a great mother Ashley!
You're doing the best you can. You are a wonderful, strong, loving mom, and I am proud to "know" you.
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