Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I know a lot of you guys were wondering if we won the cruise or not for the most romantic story contest. They announced the winner today and I am sad to report we didn't win the free cruise. But that's okay, the person that won had a happy romantic story with a happy ending and a picture of their living child in the picture. My story just didn't have the perfect outcome that people wanted to hear.

On another hand, a nurse asked me "the question" tonight...
Nurse: Hey Ash, Can I ask you a person question
Me: Ummm, sure
Nurse: Did you have your baby?
Me? Yes, yes I did.
Nurse: Awwww!!!! Was it a boy or girl
Me: A sweet little boy
Nurse: Oh how exciting! Congratulations
Me: Yaaaa well thank you very much, I wish I could share more pictures with you but I only have a few since he only lived 3 days. But he was so perfect and only weighed 13 ounces, he was simply amazing.
Nurse: *tears* and hugs

I actually did real good and even kept a smile on my face. Surprise, I know... but I think I was happy because it gave me a chance to show off my sweet Nolan. I won't lie, it's an uncomfortable question. She wanted to know his name and everything. I am so terrified of feeling like he never happened as time goes. So any attempt that someone makes to talk about my son, I accept it as an opportunity to tell people about him. Living or not. I don't get to show off 1,2 or 3 month pictures. I don't get to talk about sleepless nights or colic. But I wish I did. I know people told me my life would change after having a child, and boy that sure is the truth.


Rachel H. said...

So sorry you lost the cruise, but I'm so glad that you were able to stay collected when she asked that question. And so glad that you were able to share about Nolan!

Lisa said...

Sorry about the cruise. I'm so glad that you got to talk about Nolan and show him off.

Lauren said...

You won't ever forget about Nolan, but the pain will start to ease over time. Hugs!

Bree said...

I hear ya. Any chance I get, I want to talk about Ella. I wish we could talk about the usual new mom stuff too.

Bluebird said...

So thankful for your opportunity to talk about your son. I continue to be amazed by the grace with which you handle such situations. You are a remarkable woman, my friend.