Thursday, April 8, 2010

Dear Nolan,

You would have been 10 months old today. Just a  year ago this week we found out you were a boy! Your Daddy was so happy!

Not a day goes by that I wonder what you would be like and how our lives would be different if you were still here with us.

I still can’t believe you would be 2 months away from having your 1st big birthday party. GOD, how I wish that was the case. But I do have plans for you little guy. Mommy is going to have a BIG birthday party with all our family and friends to celebrate the day that you entered this world and proved those Doctors wrong. We will celebrate your teeny little life.

So it looks like I’ll be a busy Mommy trying to plan the perfect birthday party for such an important little booger. I bet you a lot of people will come, at least I hope.

What do you think…red & blue sail boat theme or something else? Maybe I should branch out, but then it wouldn’t feel like you. Any-who, I promise to make it special either way.

On another note, I am sure you and Josey have come together up there in Heaven and your looking down on us. I just have to think you two were too special to stay with us. God must have saw something mighty special in you two to bring you up there so early. We need you both to look over Kerry’s sister Kimmy as she is also expecting and I am sure she is scared to death after watching the fight her sister just went through. Bless her heart.

I miss you Nolan. I wish the days wouldn’t go by so fast. It’s just one more day from seeing you. The further away from having you and I hate that. I want to wake up every morning and walk in your room and see you standing in your crib waiting for me. I think that’s what you would be doing by now, I guess I really don’t know what your 1o month old self would be doing, I don’t even know when milestones happen for any baby. It’s so frustrating.

I love you little guy, I’m sure your not so little anymore. Stay close to Josey and watch over Kerry and Kimmy in these coming months. They are both going to need you little angels watching over them.

Love Always and Forever,

Your Mommy

P.S. Did I say how AWESOME your birthday party will be? Oh ya, I did! Just reminding you!


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!

cmatsukes said...

I would love to come to his party if I lived closer. I think about him everyday I see your site and think of him. It would have been great to see him and Makayla together. I hope Kimmy will be alright I will be praying for her hopefully they will keep a very close eye on her. Take care and I like the sailboat theme has to be nautical HUGS Aunt Chris.

Brie said...

Love this letter...and love that you also plan on celebrating Nolan's Bday with a party. I vote sailboats!

Jen said...

thanks for stopping by..(nice to meet you!) the letter is so incredibly bittersweet and I am so sorry that you too are looking at a year without your child..I can just feel the love you have for him through your words..((hugs))

Holly said...

Happy 10 month birthday Nolan

Elena said...

Happy 10 month birthday Nolan!! What an amazing letter. You are an amazing mommy!!! I love how excited you are for his party and he will be there to see how AWESOME it is!!


cathy said...

Your letters give me chills.. so heartfelt.. so naked.. so real. I think about Nolan all the time, such a perfect little guy. You are an amazing mother Ashley, I am sure Nolan is so proud of you, just as you are of him. :)

Jill said...

Happy 10 months, Nolan!

S said...

If babies wear clothes in heaven, Nolan's in a sailor suit :) I think your idea of a party is awesome. I'm sure he thinks it's a fab idea!

Maggie said...

Happy 10 months sweet little Nolan! I'm sure his party will be fantastic! He has a fantastic Mommy planning it! :)

Beth said...

Happy 10 month day sweet baby boy!!

Megan said...

Happy 10 monthes sweet Nolan!

This letter was beautiful and you are an amazing mother, even with your little one physically not with you.

I'm adding your button to my page :)

Laura said...

Such a beautiful letter and how wonderful to have a celebration for Nolan! Too bad we do not live closer..I would love to celebrate your AMAZING little guy's birthday!



Shannon said...

Happy 10 months, Nolan. I saw a big yellow butterfly today and then a smaller yellow one a little later. I think Nolan and Josey were playing a little game of chase this afternoon. :)

I love the sailboat theme for his party - so perfect!

Tina said...

Happy 10 months little Nolan! xx