Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter/Kerry/NILMDTS

I wish I could say it’s a Happy Easter for us. I know we are celebrating Jesus rising but it’s so hard to put that smile on today when you know your cousin is delivering their baby girl who is just too small. I am still holding hope that she is bigger than they estimated and Josey can have a fighting chance.

One thing that I hope she can do is get a hold of a NILMDTS photographer. It’s something I wish I had a chance to have. But since Nolan left us so unexpectedly and at 2am in the morning, it was never a thought. Since being in those shoes, and becoming an aspiring lifestyle photographer, it’s something that I really want to dip my toes in. Not right away because I am not ready emotionally but when the time comes I want to be that photographer that documents a baby’s life. Just as this photographer did, she lost her baby Eli in 2002 and since then has volunteered to take the most amazing pictures of baby’s as they leave us here on Earth. One day, that will be me.

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Sweet baby boy Nolan, I am thinking of you this Easter. I know your up there in Heaven with the star of the show Jesus. I know your in a better place than here on Earth but it doesn’t make me want you here any less. I wish we were dressing you up in a outfit with a little tie and taking you to church. Then off to Grandmas for Easter dinner. It would be the perfect Easter. A year ago I never would have thought we wouldn’t have our baby boy here on Easter. I don’t think some people realize how lucky they really are to wake up with their baby sleeping soundly in their crib on Easter morning. I wish that was us. I mean why would you think about that stuff?

Happy Easter everyone. Say a prayer for Kerry and baby Josey. They already started her induction and I hope today goes smooth and calm for her. It’s just so hard to celebrate Easter when things like this overshadow the celebration. It just shouldn’t be this way.

9 comments:

Antoinette said...

"happy" Easter to you and your family, may God place his hands over her and the baby today and may a miracle occur like it did when Jesus was born....I wish I could say more to ease your pain...it hurts me also, I have been praying and hoping and now it has come to this....I wish we all had our babies today. This was to be my daughters first holiday home and now she spends it in Heaven with all our other babies....Mothers dont realize how lucky they are...at least I dont think so...who ever thinks this can happen? I certainly didnt...God bless your family today :(

Jaime said...

Thinking of you all today.

xo

Soko's Journey to Parenthood said...

Happy Easter to all of you. I have been wtg to hear word on Kerry and my heart goes out to her and little Josie. Just all breaks my heart. I am still praying for that miracle to happen and I know God is watching over them both right now. Please keep us posted and we will continue sending our prayers upstairs.

Take care.

Maggie said...

Thinking of you so much today. XXOO

Just Breathe said...

I have a note next to my computer to check in with you today. Keeping all of you in my prayers.

belle said...

thinking of you all moring.... i told kerry's and josey's names and circumstances to my pastor's wife and all of the prayer warriors at church today. they are praying fervently for a miracle for you and for them.

my heart is breaking for you today. nolan would have looked so adorable in his easter clothes. i asked Jesus to tell our babies how much we love them today. i can only imagaine that the love He shares with them is so much greater than even we can give...... i still would have loved the chance to try though. ((((hugs))))

Lauren said...

I've got Kerry and Baby Josey on my mind, and I'm praying for them.

HUGS,
Lauren

Michelle said...

Keep your family in my thought and prayers.
I left a little gift for you on my blog. www.missingjuanito.blogspot.com

Jessica said...

*hugs* to you and Kerry