Thank you for all your comments and messages. I feel a lot better after talking it out and blogging and even sleeping on it. I wish it was easier to explain. I know it’s easy to say.. “do what YOU want” but it’s not that easy in this case.
I promise something will still be done. I would never let it go unrecognized.
But the vision I had was just too much for us. I do look forward to sharing what we decided on. It will be very small in nature but big in love and perfect for Nolan.
As much as I would love to throw a big bash and have a big birthday cake and sing to him. I think our solution is better. It was actually my 2nd idea, I just had to convince Chris that it would be perfect and not too much. We like it, family likes it and Nolan would have loved it.
When I tend to vision things, I vision big. Most the time it works out, this time it didn’t. That’s okay though. I think in my mind, nothing was going tt be big enough or perfect enough for the lil guy. As much as I love to throw a good big party, this one is meant to be different.
Thank you again for all your thoughts and comments, it really helps when you know people understand and don’t hold it against you that you have these thoughts. It’s just part of that new normal, not self pity (been accused of that in the past). I promise that one.