Tuesday, May 10, 2011

3rd Time A Charm

It took 3 Mother's day to get it right. 

3 years of heartbreak
3 years of dreaming
3 years to get the type of Mother's Day that some take for granted.

My first Mother's Day was spent grieving what could be of our unborn baby boy. It was spent layed up on a couch with my mama watching movies praying that Monday's call would bring good news.

My second Mother's Day was bittersweet. It was my first without Nolan. A day I never expected to spend empty handed. A day I grieved what should have been yet at the same time, I was carrying our newest. It was a day full of thankfulness for another chance at Mothering, but a day of sorrow for what I wasn't mothering here at that moment.

My third Mother's Day... I worked Saturday, got home from work to an empty house (Chris at work and Baby with Nana & Gpa), slept all day and even shed a few tears thinking about how lonely my Mother's Day felt- it brought back bitter memories on how I spent the past 2


So finally got my Mother's Day I have been craving and... I am the nut that forgot to ask off work for the year it finally all goes right. That's right, I worked the entire weekend. 

But, deep down... it was ok. Because I knew I had CC. He may not be with me that day, but I had him here.

I woke up to the best present ever. Gpa brought CC over to wake me up. Best wake up ever!

Then when Chris got home from work he made the trip up to the hospital and brought me dinner. Not an ideal "Mother's Day" eating fast food dinner in a Respiratory Dept of a hospital, but nothing else mattered because I had CC this year. I had him in my arms. Life feels good, FINALLY.
 And I came home to this card in the corner of the baby's crib. I freaking love my boys.

It may have taken my 3 years. 3 years to have the Mother's Day I desired but it was worth the wait. 

5 comments:

Jen said...

I'm so happy you had a beautiful Mother's Day experience! :)

I love CC's alligator overalls!

Happy Mother's Day!

Jill said...

Beautiful post as always Ashley. I am glad you had a good Mother's Day and big hugs to you all!

CC is precious and I just love his little face!

Abigail said...

Even though you had to work .... it still sounds like you had a great Mother's Day. How wonderful that you got to spend time with your boys! XxOo

TanaLee Davis said...

it great to smiles on your face for the last several months. I'm glad the holiday, the one you wanted most was a good one.

Hugs-
Felicia

Pam McBride said...

Awww, how awesome! <3