Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Gate night. Frick.

I debated on weather to share this little adventure tonight or not. But considering I spent the entire debacle laughing while Chris slammed his head into the steering wheel repeadily, I just have to.

The original plan was for me to wake up for work, kiss baby and husband good bye and work for 12 hours. That all changed when work called me off since we are in our slow season. Being that we are married, been together over 9 years (has it been 9 or 8?) and just had a baby- we didn't take advantage of it and turned it into a chore, errand and OMG we need to go buy baby gates type of night.

After chasing the baby around for a mere 20 minutes, I declared it was time that we needed to go buy baby gates. It was time to make this place into Fort Knox.

So let me set the scene-
I had to switch the huge convertible car seat to my car because Chris' truck has yard waste in the bed of the truck Switching it in 95+ temps makes it feel like you just did 5 zumba workouts in a row.

Chris on the other hand was dealing with the baby and strapping him in while I ran into grab my cell and purse. I saw that he didn't grab the diaper bag, but I wasn't going to either- it wasn't packed. Shoot, all I need is a diaper and wipes and those fit snugly into my purse. Wam Bam- out of here.

Do I need to bring a bottle? Naw, Chris was 2 seconds away from honking the horn to tell me to hurry it up. I did switch my shoes 3 times, couldn't locate my cell phone and had to find the wipes. Plus he did just eat at 4. He will be JUST fine. I have puffs in the car, it's only a trip to Babies R Us.

We bought 2 baby gates at Babies R Us, and since Target is next door I wanted to run in to grab a smaller pair of shorts considering mine are falling off me. I should be walking around holding my crotch like all the 'cool kids' at the mall to keep those suckers up. 

My Target trips are never an in and out. UNLESS you're with Chris. He rushes me. Anyone else have that problem? He doesn't get the "I wanna walk the back aisles to find usless crap" that is 30-50% off. Or the "what new outfits do the have now" or the "let's go look at the toy aisle." So we left, plus CC wasn't happy. I already opened the box of Mum Mum crackers to keep him quiet as we headed for the check out.

I don't even know what time it was by time we got to the car. 

We packed up, buckled up the kid. I took 3 min to find my cell phone and keys at the bottom of my purse and handed the keys to Chris.

Turn of the ignition- no start. Repeat. Repeat again. No luck. Just flashing dashboard with every try and a louder cry from the baby bc that chunk is HUNGRY.

Chris: 4 letter word (turns ignition again with desperation)
Me: least we are at Target. What do we need, water for the battery? 
Chris: Doubt it. 
Me: New battery?
Chris: Who the hell knows. (tries again for the 15th time) This time banging his head agaisnt the steering wheel, LOL!
Me: Should I go grab some distilled water? MAYBE the water needs to be filled again. AGAIN, we ARE at Target.
Chris: Let me check the oil first, do you have something I can use.
Me: Uhhhhh, here's a diaper. LOL
Chris: (Shakes his head and laughs)

In the meantime, CC is getting hot, angry and 2 seconds away from throwing a temper tantrum because he needs his bottle. Like NOW.
But wait... 
I started plotting my next shopping spree in Target knowing that one of our parents was going to have to come to our rescue and I needed to feed this baby from the formula aisle and THAT would be the excuse to peruse the store some more.
I was actually hoping we were stranded, Chris on the other hand was not the happiest. Not that it was my fault, he was just frustrated and a crying hungry baby wasn't helping. Me on the other hand, I admit I was laughing. 

It was bound to happen. I didn't grab a bottle. It was 95+ degrees out and of course it was SUPPOSE to be another quick errand. BAM

I unbuckled the kid, rents were called and I was grabbing my purse to go buy some formula and a bottle to feed the monster. JUST as I was walking away from the car, the sweetest 80 year old women asked if we needed a jump because she my friends has jumper cables, unlike us.

So we were saved. I sat in the back the whole way home sharing puffs with CC while I just had to laugh as I started drafting this blog in my head.

Next time- I'll grab the stupid bottle- even if he's not due to eat for another 24 hours. Ill grab the wipes even if he's been potty trained for 5 years. I think I have learned my lessons.....


But hey, at least we have gates now. Right? 


Georgy said...

Too funny; had a somewhat similar experience so now I always pack extra for those unexpected moments.

krousehouse said...

Been there too!

Pam McBride said...

Hahaha! Awesome! Only you... ;) You write hilariously!

*Laura Angel said...

bahahaahah awesome :)

Abigail said...

So funny...thanks for sharing!! This was such an awesome blog entry that I read it out loud to my hubby! You are so good at writing these blogs!!!

Raven said...

hahaha LOOOOOVE this! I mean, does not EVERYTHING take ten times as much time when you you involve kids???? My sisters and I will have "lunch dates," and they will be there a little early waiting for me and I'm like, "Sorry! gonna be a little late!" EVERYTHING takes longer (and involves SO MUCH MORE DRAMA!!!!!) when kids are involved!!!!!!!!

TanaLee Davis said...

Awesome! I love how you spared no detail in events. Baby gates= target ciaos. Love it!