Is it too much to ask for a guaranteed healthy pregnancy next time? Is it too much to ask God for a break this time. I thought we did everything the right way, and look at our outcome. I did everything in my power to fight for Nolan, but look where it got us.
Sad thing is, I may be able to get pregnant, but according to the specialist... we will never know if my body will be able to carry a healthy pregnancy and that scares me to death. Sure go ahead and try again, but in 6 months will I be reliving this nightmare with another baby once again?
All Chris and I want is our Nolan and we can't have that. So next best thing is to bring a little sister or brother into the world and actually be able to carry him or her home in a car seat, put them in their crib, do feedings at 3am in the morning and most of all, watch a miracle grow right in front of our eyes.
I will never ever take pregnancy lightly, nor will I understand why certain things happen. I have witnessed first hand that the world is not fair and it doesn't matter if you do all right or all wrong. I guess I need to ask that powerful question when I get to Heaven one day.