I miss my baby. Plain and simple.
We went to Orlando this weekend to visit with a grade school/high school best friend and her husband and Mom and the whole time we were there, I couldn't help but think about what's missing. We should have had a stroller with us and we should have been passing the little guy around at lunch. I should have been able to buy him Mickey ears with the elastic neck thing to keep it on and his name written in cursive on the front.
I'm sure it didn't help that we were at Disney where like 1 million strollers are around and little 2 year olds running around. Happy families were EVERYWHERE! It made me miss Nolan so much. I kept wondering if Chris and I will ever be able to bring a child to Disney. I mean, it's a valid thought and one that makes me sad because I am actually worrying about this.
I even turned to Chris at one point when a toddler boy was in front of us and said... "Do you think we will ever get to be those parents?"
I think what it comes down to is, I am just plain FRUSTRATED. I am frustrated with the 'what ifs', 'should have beens', 'would have beens' and ect ect. I just want my Nolan back, I just want him here and want to be living the naive life of a family of 3.
Will we ever be there? A family of 4? Only time, patience and praying will tell.
On another note, please keep Lauren my close blog friend in your prayers and thoughts today.