Sunday, February 28, 2010

About Me: Part 1

I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting all the questions, so keep them coming. I have gotten a lot so I wanted to start posting tonight. Plus it cures a little bit of writers block that I am going through.

1. How'd you and Chris meet? We know all about the proposal and wedding..but where/how'd you meet?

Ready for this? Best Buy. It was one of my many part time jobs and on my first day, I walked in and he was the first person I saw in a Best Buy shirt and asked him where I was suppose to go since it was my first day. HE claims he thought I was pretty darn cute while I was walking up to the store (I think he's all talk) Anyways, a few weeks later another co-worker mentioned Chris 'liked' me, so I took it to my advantage and I asked him to a Halloween party that a co-worker was throwing. I dressed up as a devil and he was a firefighter and we hit it off right away. OH, and get this... guess where we had our first dinner?... McDonalds! I was new to the area so it was an easy meeting place, and while we were there we decided on grabbing a bite to eat. Nice huh?

2. I was wondering who is that adorable boy in the picture with you and the anchors?

Meet Cyrus. He is my best friend, Vals son. He is one miracle boy himself. He is a 8 year old, full of energy, loves to be center of attention, loving little boy. He is just 5 months post op from his open heart surgery and if you met him, I promise you he would show you his scar and tell you all about it. He is pretty awesome.

3. Say you had a high profile public career (example - famous pr rep, musician, artist or even spoiled party crazy heiress) what would it be?

I would want to be a musician. Not only do I love to be center of attention (most the time) and think it would be awesome to have concerts and be on stage, but to be able to give the gift of music and write music that has so much meaning would be my dream. The paycheck would also be REAL nice, but I am sure the more on your paycheck...the more I would spend. Isn't that how it always works?

4. How did you decide on the name Nolan?

To make a real long story short. We fought over boy names like CRAZY (like here). We just couldn't agree. I came across the name Nolan before we knew he was sick and I just LOVED the name. Chris on the other hand was dead set on having a Jr.

So when we found out Nolan was 'sick' and measuring real small someone (my Mom I think) informed me that the name Nolan meant little fighter. So NOW we had to use that name, but Chris still was not budging.

Then it was in the crazy few minutes while I was being rushed through the hallways for my c-section I was crying and saying "We don't even have a name yet" and Chris responded..." Do you want to name him Nolan?"

HECK YES! I wasn't turning this opportunity down! So while in pre-op he picked the middle name of Michael. Michel is the arch angel of public services and my Uncles name so it just fit.

Nolan Michael Dowaliby

4. Thinking ahead...any future baby names? Will you use Nolan in any part of your next child's name?

If we are ever blessed with a baby girl, her name will be Linley Katherine. It's my sister's middle names. (Margaret Linley & Molly Katherine).

Boy name is a whole other ball game. We honestly haven't even thought about it. I'm sure it will be another battle if we have another boy, but unsure how I would feel about using Nolan's name. Just a personal choice.


5. Do you have an idea of how things will be different if you decide to get pregnant again?

Since I will be considered a high risk pregnancy form the start, I will have my normal OB (who I love) and an MFM. I have seen a few MFM since Nolan and they both had different opinions. But from the sounds of it, I will be monitored very closely, will be on a prophylactic dose of Lovenox (a injection blood thinner used to thin blood to prevent clots to the placenta). Since they never found a true answer on why this all happened, the most they can do is monitor closely and try the Lovenox.

There is no telling if I will get Pre-e again or not. I am at a huge risk for it, but it's really a game of the unknown.

6. What's the best thing anyone has said to you since losing Nolan...something that just comforted you and made you know that they really do care and understand how heartbreaking your loss has been?

I love this question and have been thinking about it quite a bit. so much things. There have been so many things that have been said, some even form complete strangers. There was one thing that stuck out in my mind and I want to share it.


This is part of an email that I often go back to when I am having a hard day, because it reminds me that everything I am going thorugh is NORMAL. This email came from a friend that was just an acquaintance but June 8, 2009.. we became sisters of a kind. She was the FIRST person that I could honestly relate my feelings to.


Dear Ashley,

First of all, I am so sorry. There are so many things I want to say to you and don't know where to begin. I will start and say this, "I know." I know how it hurts and I know your pain. I don't know what you're going through exactly at this moment, but I know it is a roller coaster of emotion. Some moments you sob, some moments you scream, some moments you just sit and stare. You do what ever it takes to get you through to the next minute, the next hour, the next day.

I really thought that I would sit and write you a big long email, but I really think I would rather talk to you. Whenever you want, you call me. There are some things I'd like to share with you. And, I will be here to listen to whatever you want to tell me. I know that we didn't know each other very well, but, now we have a bond. We will always have this common denominator. And, our situations are similar.

Ashley, grief is so hard. And, I will say this because I don't want it to wait until you call me, you grieve how you want to grieve. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. As long as you're not hurting yourself physically, you grieve the way you want to, the way you HAVE to. My heart just goes out to you and your husband and your parents. It's tough on the parents, especially your mom. She's grieving for the grandchild she lost and she's grieving for her baby, YOU. Please call me. And if you want to get together we can do that. I'll come over or whatever you need me to do. Or we can just talk a bit on the phone. Trust me, I know. Everyone's grief is different and I can share with you my thoughts and feelings and things I did to get me through to the next hour or day. My husband and I are off tomorrow and will be home so give me a call. I'm praying for you tonight.
Love,

a sister

(name left out for privacy)

6 comments:

the Spocks said...

Thank you for sharing your story.

Andrea said...

Ashley,

I've only come to know your blog for a couple of weeks, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that "you are genuine". A true "gem" and any girl would be lucky to know your friendship :)

The email that was written to you speaks volumes about the writers character, as she took time to reach out to you. And, the fact she did not know you that well is even more touching, as she went out on a limb to comfort your aching heart. How wonderful. I too, had some wonderful women reach out to me and there is no way to express that "healing touch" of someone who has walked this walk. I'm glad you have "a sister" in your life.

And, your best friend...Cyrus, what an amazing, brave, tenacious little boy! I promise to keep him and "you" in my prayers.

Finaly, thank you for allowing us to get to know you and I look forward to following your journey to success, all while remembering sweet Nolan.

xoxo

Maggie said...

Thanks for sharing! It was fun learning some more things about you! :) I also think that
e-mail is wonderful. It's very hard for a lot of people to know exactly what to say and when you have someone like that reaching out to you, it makes a real difference!

Midday Escapades said...

Thanks for linking up with Friday Follow! I am now your blog follower. It is a pleasure to meet ya and have a great week!

~ Lynn
http://www.middayescapades.com

The Blue Sparrow said...

I loved reading more about you and the letter from "a sister" was just perfect and so kind and understanding. *HUGS*

Cecilia said...

Thanks for sharing!