Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Answers Part 1

Thank you for all the questions you guys sent me, and I look forward to more. So keep them coming! Chris and I also got our anchor tattoos, I'll post pictures soon!

I noticed a fund through your church, how does that work?

We started that fund when we were in the stages of planning Nolan's memorial service. Our church was more than generous when it came to funds, so this was our way of giving back. They brought up the idea of a guardian angel statue to put in the memorial garden where Nolan now rests. So the statue will be in Nolan's memory. I just posted the address to the church where donations could be sent, and the response was incredible. I am happy to announce the statue has been delivered and we will be helping the church when they go to place it in the garden and we might do a small little ceremony. I can't wait.

What is your favorite snack food?

Hmmm, this is a hard one because it changes all the time. Currently, my guilty pleasure is oreos. But my healthy snack is fruit, especially watermelon. Yum!

What is your favorite memory of those 3 precious days when Nolan was fighting his courageous battle?

I am so happy I wrote in my blog while I was at the hospital because now I know I will never forget how I was feeling at that very moment. Now that I look back, the memories kind of blur together. So I would have to say my favorite memory is when I got to watch him and marvel at how perfect he was. I felt like my world was as perfect given the situation the night I was able to change his diaper, take his temperature, lift him up, hold his vent tubing when they changed his linens, wash his face and clean his tiny mouth. I am SO happy we got pictures of this, because little did I know it would be my last time ever. It was a feeling of accomplishment and tremendous amounts of hope we had for him that made us feel so complete as a family.

Would you consider yourself a dog or a cat person (or neither)?
Definitely dog! I am super allergic to cats, so I hate cats.

what was one of your favorite memories of being pregnant?
I have a few favorite memories. One would be when I could get him to move around just by playing Bob Marley music, I miss feeling him move so much! I loved the excitement and impatience you feel when your pregnant.

Besides being premature, what else caused all this to occur?
I wish this was an answer I could answer, it's honestly one big mystery to us. This is what I know...
Most likely the biggest culprit of this was the Preeclampsia. They believe that some preeclampsia cases are just set in stone and are determined early in pregnancy even though it doesn't present until later. So we knew Nolan was behind in growth since week 16 of pregnancy and it was most likely due to my blood vessels constricting and cutting off nutrients to him from my placenta.

The slow growth caused him to be the size of a 21 week baby. Nolan should have been a lot bigger for his gestational size, that's why I was so determined to get him to at least 32 weeks so he might have been 2lbs and was a little bigger. But the preeclampsia snuck up on us out of nowhere and he had to come out at 26 weeks.

He was VERY tiny to begin with, only 13 ounces. Luckily I did get the steroid shot 3 days prior to help his lung development. Honestly, the Dr's didn't think they would even be able to get an airway in that small of a baby, but they did! He had the normal preemie NICU things happen. Blood transfusions, blood pressure meds, ventilator and I was okay with that. He took a turn for the worse out of nowhere. I was just visiting him less than 2 hours before he coded. The neonatologist called me a few days later to talk and he believes Nolan got septic and his little body couldn't;t fight it. The other neonatologist believes that his lungs were just simply underdeveloped and super super tiny compared to what they should have been. So he had no reserve in his lungs to help him overcome any humps, and ultimately made him code.

We decided against the autopsy, honestly there is nothing that they could tell me to make me feel better. He was truly a miracle just to survive those 3 days. But I truely thought from the bottom of my heart that he was going to survive the NICU roller coaster. I never thought I would be the Mom going through this.

I find out Sept 3rd if I have any underlying disorders that may have caused all of this to happen. I'm crossing my fingers for an answer, but if its's all negative...this is one mystery that will haunt me for a long time. Why? Why? Why?!


Rachel H. said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that the tests tell you that there isn't any underlying problems. You can get through it! Thinking of you!

Bluebird said...

I'm so glad to learn a little more about you :)

When I was hospitalized with HELLP, they diagnosed me with several blood clotting disorders. But - even though the clotting disorders likely played a role, there's still no known "cause" of preeclampsia. Which is one of the many reasons I hate it so much.

Hoping you get some answers next week.