Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Wish us luck

I entered our story into a Princess Cruise Romance contest. They did this last year and so I figured it wouldn't hurt to try. Princess Cruises really has been a HUGE part of our life and milestones we have gone through.

Our first vacation with our families
Grand Princess

Our engagement cruise
Caribbean Princess

Our wedding/honeymoon/RUBY BABY
Ruby Princess

So I entered "our story" and if we win, we get a free cruise. I'm crossing my fingers that this could be the PERFECT sign from Nolan :)

Cross your fingers!
Here's the link... to my entry

On another note, today is August 11th.
2 months ago today was the beginning of the rest of our lives. I still can't believe he's been gone 2 months, I miss him so much I can't even put it into words. I am slowly learning my new normal and it's been a journey so far. I can't help but wonder what life would be like for us right now if he was still here with us. How much would he weigh now? Would he be in an open NICU crib yet? Would he recognize us? Ahhhh, I wish we could have experienced these things.

Quite honestly, I am still in shock. with MANY friends having their babies right now, it puts it into perspective how real this really is. They say this will be the WORST thing we will ever go through, and I hope they are right. I NEVER expected this to happen, nor feel the feelings I am feeling to be so real. You can't even begin to imagine what this is like unless you have gone through this yourself.

I work in a hospital and have seen kids come and go, sad cases and some good. The sad ones suck, and you always get a little emotional over it, but I never really let it affect me. Probably because,
#1 I wasn't yet a parent myself
#2 Never experienced this level of a loss

Now it's a whole new ball game, new emotions, new compassion and I hope Nolan is there right with me giving me my new strength.

I love you little guy and I miss you so much. I just want you back her in my arms. I hate having a broken heart and an empty crib. Butterfly kisses to you up there in Heaven.


LizP said...

Great entry. i pray that you will win! and such a beautiful video. i havent cried this hard in a long time! what a blessing Nolan was and still is!

Rachel H. said...

Praying for you and thinking of you! I hope you win! You guys need it!

Kristy ~ said...

Thinking of you today. I can't believe our boys have been gone 2 months. I don't know how...


Michele said...

You deserve to win this contest! Hands down. Good luck!!