Monday, August 3, 2009

Talking

Talking helps me. I LOVE to talk about Nolan and his story. I find myself talking to complete strangers about it even. But the people that really make me feel like they care, are the ones who are curious about his story and not afraid to ask or talk about him. As sad as our story may seem, I do have a son as a result of all this. He may not be in my arms or here on this earth, but he is MY SON. I do have stories I don't mind sharing or have I have answers to questions I don't mind answering. He may only have lived 3 days, but he lived in my heart for 6 months before he was ever born and from now on WILL always be in my heart.

The worst feeling is feeling like someone has turned the other way and decided to not say anything at all in fear of saying the wrong thing. There are not many wrong things you can say, unless your going to tell me how to grieve my son. I understand it's awkward to be the other person, but in all reality...I look forward to the conversations I get to talk about my son. I love him, I am proud of him and I will never forget his fight.

5 comments:

Bree said...

I couldn't agree more. I love when people ask things about Ella- how big was she? even, why wasn't she breathing when she was born? I don't care, just ask. Show that you care. What I think people need to know is we DO want to talk about our babies just like other mom's do.

Angela said...

I am the same way, I love talking about Ella, and if someone really has a question, I would prefer they ask instead of just thinking it and acting weird around me. I appreciate my 4 year old niece the most -- she asks about and talks about Ella a LOT -- and it makes some people uncomfortable and they tell her to not ask -- but honestly she is one of only a few people who talk about Ella like a human being that truly existed.

Lisa (Jasper's Mommy) said...

I agree 100% on everything you said. I love it when people ask me questions about my son. I love talking about him and remembering him.

Bree said...

Hi Ashley- just letting you know I moved my blog to butterflybaby15.blogspot.com

Jocelyn said...

Random, as I just happened to find your blog while lurking on the Knot (helping a friend plan her wedding). But, I obviously don't know you or your husband, but I just wanted to thank you for putting your thoughts out there like this. It takes alot. I lost my cousin 6 months ago and while he wasn't a baby, alot of your feelings and thoughts about loss are pretty universal. I just really appreciate it.