I should be going to Barnes and Noble to get books on baby's first year or parenting books, but instead I am going there to get the book "90 Minutes in Heaven". This book was suggested by another baby loss mama and she said it really helped her with the grieving process. My other near dear friend said after she lost her son, she read a lot of books on Heaven because she wanted to know everything she could about where her sweet angel was spending his time. So getting this book and maybe a few others will help me understand and cope with what has happened. I do think it is extremely unfair I am going to get books about my baby dying vs a book that helps me parent through the first year. I hate this! I hate this! and did I say... I freaking hate this!
On a totally different note, Chris is going to go get his tattoo today of the anchor he has been wanting. A few close friends donated some cash to help him get his tattoo shortly after Nolan. I can't wait to see how it turns out. And for some shocking news.......(brace yourself Mother)...I *MIGHT* get one too. I have NEVER been a tattoo type person, but always thought it would be cool to get one. But I was always worried about regretting it, but with the meaning behind this one, how could I regret it? It would be in honor of my precious Nolan. So if I do this, it will be a very small one on my inner wrist. Why inner wrist? Its small and a lot of people will see it, and when they ask about it, I will be given the chance to talk about my sweet Nolan. That's honestly the whole reason I am actually considering this. So I have a few ideas of what I want, obviously including an anchor...so let's see if I end up chickening out.
P.S. Don't hate me Mom!