Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Dear Nolan,

Happy Birthday Lil Guy!
I can't believe you would be 1 years old today, it's amazing how fast time really did fly. Just one year ago at this very time is when we found out you were going to make an appearance into this world. Let me tell you how unexpected and taken by surprise your Daddy and I were. We didn't even have a name for you yet. Everything happened so fast that morning.

But one thing stuck out in my mind that Dr F said, you may be little but you were developed as a 26 week baby so you had some fight to you. And that you did! And right before they started the c-section, you kicked me so hard and I think it was you telling me everything would be okay, especially since you haven't been active for a few days. You came out kicking and with a squeal. You had APGARS of 8/8 and even impressed Mommy's Dr's.

I can't thank you enough for fighting as hard as you did and giving us time to
meet you. I would do ANYTHING to go back to the 2.5 days you spent kicking in that isolette and sit right beside you for every single moment. You had your Daddy's body but my personality, all 13 ounces of you. You amazed every single person that got to come meet you, you brought tears and laughter at the same time.
I miss you SO much Nolan and would do anything, in this world to be able to spend the day with you Nolan. ANYTHING. But I think that is obvious.

I'm not sure what your birthday will be like up there in Heaven but I bet it will be amazing, you have so many angel friends to celebrate with you and I know Grandma made you the best cake and is going to let you have as many pieces as you want. Just like she did with us kids.

A year ago right now, we had no clue if you would make it in this world, but I am so THANKFUL for the fight you gave us. We gave you life and in the end, THAT'S all that matters.

Happy Birthday Nolan, we love you to the moon and stars and I wish so badly I could watch you smash a big old red and blue cake today.

I love you!

Love,
Your Mommy





53 comments:

Jayme said...

Happy Birthday, Nolan!

(((hugs))) to your mama

Jennie said...

Happy Birthday Nolan! Praying for you all, especially this week!

Ashley R said...

Happy Birthday, Nolan!!

Jamie said...

Happy birthday to your angel baby! Many thoughts for you and your family today!

The Brennan Family said...

Happy Birthday Little Fighter!

MommaPebz said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!!!!


Prayers for you & your family today!

Jill said...

Happy 1st Birthday Nolan! You are so lucky to have a beautiful & most amazing parents ever. They love you so very much, and you are loved by so many! Thinking about you & your family today as always!

This letter brought me to tears. <3

Steph said...

Happy Birthday, Nolan!

Bigs hugs to Mom and Dad, too :)

Marie W said...

Happy Birthday Nolan! Sending good thoughts and hugs your way Ashley!

Brie said...

Happy Birthday Nolan...Your mom & dad miss you...along with a bunch of us in blog land who have gotten to know your super cool parents over the past year. There is no doubt that you are a loved and wanted little boy.

Andrea said...

Happy Birthday precious baby boy. The sun shines brighter today because of you and all the lives that you have touched and those lives you continue to touch. Keep blowing those kisses from heaven little one....

Much Love Ashley, as I know these heavenly birthdays are bitter sweet. Also, thank you for posting these beautiful pictures.

HUGS

Betty said...

Happy birthday sweet Nolan.

my hugs and thoughts are with your mommy today.

Jen said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Thinking of your family this week.

Kimberly said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!!

(((hugs))) Ashley!

daisybv2 said...

Happy Birthday Nolan hugs to Mommy and Daddy too

Maggie said...

Happy Birthday to sweet Nolan!!! You are so very loved by your Mommy, Daddy and so many other people. Many hugs to you & your family today. I hope you are having fun with all your angel friends. Alexandra better have a nice present for you! :) xoxo

kristen said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Nolan!

Angie said...

Happy birthday Nolan!

Ditto the big hugs to Mom.

Robyn said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Danielle said...

Happy Birthday Nolan! I'm sure heaven is a wonderful place to celebrate this day :)

Ashley, I'm paying for you to find peace today as you celebrate the amazing life of your son with him in your heart instead of in your arms. (((Hugs)))

Kristin said...

Happy birthday sweet boy!

Rachie said...

I hope you and Chris (and your families) have a wonderful week celebrating your son. Be comforted by the fact that he is looking down on you smiling. He is also busy being a guardian angel to the little one growing inside you! By the way, I saw your cupcakes on FB and they look yummy! :)

Lisette said...

Happy to birthday you
Happy to birthday you
Happy birthday dear Nolan
Happy birthday to you!!!

Nolan you have touched my life, thank you!!!

Ashley, thinking and praying for you.

michelle hendrix-swords said...

happy birthday nolan! *HUGS*

Victoria said...

Happy Birthday Nolan! I drew this in the sand for Nolan's birthday on Monday at the beach

http://www.victoriasalbum.com/nolan.jpg

Tami said...

Happy Birthday Nolan! I hope my tough little cookie Corinne is playing nicely with you and the other angels. You have made your mommy and daddy so very proud! Send them some extra kisses today.

Jessica said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!! *hugs* to mama!!

The Blue Sparrow said...

Wishing Nolan a Very Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday! Sending prayers your way Ashley! *HUGS*

Bridget said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Betsy & Kurt said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Hope you're making it through today okay, Ashley. Everything you posted about that you were planning on doing today sounded wonderful. I hope you guys had a great day celebrating Nolan's life.

韋佳順雯 said...

愛情是一種發明,需要不斷改良。只是,這種發明和其他發明不一樣,它沒有專利權,隨時會被人搶走。..................................................

Mackenzie's Mommy said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!!!!!! I have a card for you but lost your address.

xoxo

Melissa said...

Happy Birthday little guy and my heart goes out to you and your family today.

Thinking of you.

XX

Holly said...

Happy 1st Birthday Nolan!!

Thinking of you guys today

Christy said...

Happy Birthday, Nolan!

((HUGS)) to you Ashley.
I trust that our loved ones are up in Heaven smiling down at us every.single.day. You make him proud by getting up every day and living your life to the fullest. Now you and your baby have a special angel up in heaven watching over you. I know that my nephew who passed years ago is helping Nolan celebrate his first birthday. It's going to be a great one. <3

Sarah said...

Happy Birthday sweet Nolan!

Jill said...

Happy birthday, Nolan! xo

AJANA said...

Ashley - I found your blog through a friend on FB and just wanted to say that you are amazing. Your blog is so touching and raw and helps open my eyes to the pain you and others in your situation have gone through and continue to. Thank you and please keep writing. Happy Birthday to Nolan. You all are in my prayers today.

Jaime said...

Happy Birthday Little Fighter. xo

Maddie said...

Happy Birthday Nolan.

Hugs to you and your family.

Maddie x

ryansmom said...

Happy Birthday Nolan! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Saffy said...

Happy birthday, you brave little fighter! Hope the sun is shining brightly for Nolan today.

Tara said...

Happy Birthday, Nolan!!!!

Sarah said...

I am a new reader, but wanted to say happy birthday Nolan!! He was a fighter and he has touched my life deeply. Prayers for Mom and Dad who are also amazing, he was a lucky boy to have you.

Katie said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!!

Mary said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Erin said...

Happy Birthday sweet Nolan! Hugs for your entire family today & always!

Jenn said...

Happy birthday, sweet Nolan.

Hannah Rose said...

Happy Birthday, Nolan! :)

Ruby said...

Feliz Cumpleaños NOLAN!!!!!
my thoughts are with you today !

babyrndeb said...

so beautiful! Thinking of you

Antoinette said...

Happy Birthday Nolan!!!!! What a big boy you are!!! And so magical too!! that was a wonderful gift you sent momma tonight on Glee and ending it with somewhere over the rainbow made her know IT WAS from you....you are just so special to so many people....God bless you and I KNOW you are having the biggest party ever!!!! catch those butterflies and play those games...Alyssa give Nolan a big kiss for me xoxo....thinking of you Ashley today more than EVER!!

Tina said...

Happy (day late) Birthday little Nolan! I hope you are still celebrating!! xx