THIS WAS THE ONE, that I needed today.
First of all, today went perfect and I can’t wait to blog about it. But this just had to come first.
Tonight, I was bummed we were going to miss Glee’s season finale, but hey, that’s what DVR is for and we had “better” things to do. Not like I would stay home for Glee on a night like tonight. After dinner tonight we all went and visited Nolan and then after the group decided to go to our favorite restaurant to grab a drink in memory of Nolan. So that’s what we did.
The group decided to go to a new place and being me, I wanted to enjoy the night and stay out for a bit. On the way to the new place, my dad text me and my sister called me freaking out over Glee’s season finale.
Like seriously freaking out!
But I wanted to know NOTHING and ignored them.
We got to the new place and I think all the bottled up emotions from the day hit me. With in 5 minutes of walking in, I was a sobbing mess. I was literally sitting in the corner of this dark place with tears uncontrollably falling from my face. So Chris suggested we go home and chill out. And that’s exactly what I needed.
So what was the first thing we did after my breakdown? Watch Glee.
Here is the insane part.
The first song had a part that SCREAMED at me. I know in the song, the lyrics are totally unrelated to the way they used them in the show but in any matter…
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind
During this time this part of the song was being sung, they were showing one of the characters giving birth. So I figured that’s what my sister & Dad was talking about. Sure, I thought about it like Nolan was sending a message of a sort.
The very last song…
Somewhere over the Rainbow. (Iz’s version)
I turned into a damn water fountain. I can’t even describe what I felt. It was like Nolan was saying he was okay. In the same exact way as when we played that song at his service and a rainbow formed on the floor from the sun shining through the stain glass windows right when the song started. Amazing. I just sat there smiling but with tears pouring down my face. Like did Glee write this show for me?!
Did you know I was secretly hoping to hear the song all day, even put it on a CD we brought on the boat. But when the song came on, it followed a party song so I skipped it. So here we are, 11:55pm watching the last 2 minutes of Glee and that happens.
Tears of joy that for one second I KNOW Nolan was looking down and giving me a hug even if it was in the most unexpected way.