Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sun from Heaven

Ever since I was a little girl, every time the sun shined down through the clouds with rays, I always said it was God or an angel in Heaven looking down on someone. Well tonight was our first "NICU loss group therapy" and it's at Healthpark (the hospital I had Nolan at). I have had anxiety of going there only for the fact, that is where I was the entire time Nolan was alive. It's all I know of Nolan.

So on the way there, I am convinced Nolan was telling me it's okay and to be strong. Chris was sleeping while I was driving so he missed it. But it's just what I needed to give me that extra strength to be brave and step into HP. Call me stupid, but it's my way of thinking he is "with me"

10 comments:

Darleen said...

Ashley, if that isn't a sign...I don't know what one is!

cmatsukes said...

I dont think it is stupid I believe in those things I was thinking about Mike the other day and I went to the pole shed to get something and I saw his plane and just thought of him again just at that moment a bi-plane flew over and circled the farm I believe that was Mike saying hey I am flying in heaven so yes I do believe Nolan is sending you messages. That is so neat I love it.

Debbie said...

I think signs are important-- and if that isn't a sign from your baby, well, like the other commenter said, I don't know what is!

I call my baby my "sunshine" and I never thought she gave me signs. However, I am convinced now that a rainbow is her sign that she is with me.

We need those signs. They warm your heart, don't they?

Katy said...

I love it, I love it, I love it! I totally believe in signs and Nolan will be sending them to you forever!

Danielle said...

This is not stupid at all... When God puts us through these sort of trials, he doesn't just abandon us. God knows exactly what we need and when we need to be carried. I assure you, God's hand has been on you and your family as you've walked through this valley in your life... God has given me so many signs over these last couple of months, even if they were only meant to simply let me know he is still there, and he is still God.

I am so glad you were comforted. You will find that these little signs seem to pop up when you are at your lowest... At least, that is what has been happening to me.

I am so sorry for your loss and pray for your healing. Praying now...

Nicole said...

Ashley, it is not stupid at all. Nolan was absolutely sending you a sign to be strong and let you know that he is always with you.

Laura said...

beautiful! Nolan was most definately with you!

ryansmom said...

Ashley, I'm so sorry that we have to meet due to our unfortunate circumstance but glad that you're here. I watched the video of your precious baby boy, Nolan. It is beautiful. I also believe in signs from heaven. I'm sure he was looking down and smiling upon you and your husband. I hope you found your parent support group helpful. It's hard at first, sometimes you might leave feeling overwhelmed and full of more sorrow because you hear everyone else's story. The group I attend meets once a month and I truly look forward to going because it's a time when I can talk about my son when others are afraid to bring up his name. Hang in there.

Toi said...

I saw the same thing yesterday (all the way in Maryland) and made the same comment. I am glad you saw it and it gave you strength.

Christy said...

What a beautiful sign.