Saturday, June 13, 2009

Today was better

It's never going to be easy. I miss Nolan like crazy. Both Chris and I miss him, he was so charming. I can't even explain how perfect he was. I wish I could just jump in our car and drive to Healthpark and see our little man. I would do anything for that! Everyday is a struggle, everything reminds us of our baby Nolan. His unfinished room, the numerous amounts of baby magazines I am still getting in the mail and even the picture I have on my cell phone. I just miss him.
So if you have any children, go hug them a little closer, give them an extra kiss and thank God you can do those two things. There's nothing more in this world that I would rather do then give my baby another kiss.

We found a very special place for our baby to be laid to rest forever. It's perfect, peaceful and serene. I think he will like it there. God, I never thought I would be planning this even just a week ago. Nolan was still suppose to be in my belly and I had plans on him making his appearance after 30 weeks. It sure does show God has other plans.

It's going to be a long time before we feel semi-normal again, so please just bear with the both of us. We're going to church tomorrow with the whole family, it just seems like the perfect time to go. Father Bob said this weeks mass is about celebration of life, how perfect.
I will post Nolan's memorial service information tomorrow afternoon. We have a few more details that need to be finalized.

I love you Nolan, there isn't one moment I don't think about you. I wish you could have stayed with us but understand the fight for you was just too much. Please look out over us. We love you always.


Katy said...


Stay strong. I am so proud of you for how well you're doing. Tears will fall, your heart will ache, but you're getting through this so well. And Nolan is going to love the spot you found. It's beautiful. Love you.

Anonymous said...


ashley, you are amazing and you, chris, and nolan are teaching everyone how precious life is. nolan will be by y'alls side forever and will help you when you need it most.

love you!

Wendy said...

ditto to everyhing that Katy said. Nolan will be with you always.

Jaymee said...

just found you through your comment on nikki's site. i am so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine how difficult this must be. you and your family are in my thoughts.

Tara said...

Ash, Chris and Nolan, God Bless, I have never stopped praying for all of you since the beginning. Stay strong as you can. Don't forget you have a ton of people who care for you when you need more strength. Please don't hesitate if you need anything at all. There is no more pain,Nolan is safe and healthy now and he will always be with you. God Bless. With love.